Mama Moments

These past couple of weeks I have had less time to play with make up or get dressed up and take pictures of myself, so this weeks blog post have been more of the emotional side of things. 

I am still trying to figure out what works for me with this blog and what doesn't.  If you have opinions on the matter I am open to hear about them. 

If you read my post earlier this week you are well aware that Mother's Day didn't go as smoothly as one would hope.  You can read more of it here. 

The week before Mother's Day was cycle week and while I have been managing my emotions with oils, I was having an exceptional hard few days. J had to get caught up on some shots I missed taking him to and was extra clingy and being a bit difficult to deal with, plus I think he has been hardcore teething which in the past wasn't much of an issue for him to deal with. 

I was even scheduled to meet up with my friend but ended up canceling because I didn't want to put J in his current state onto someone else.  I also myself wasn't in much of a mood to deal with other people as well, I would have much preferred to sit on my couch all day and watch the Transformers movies all at once. 

Last year I wrote this post on transitioning into a SAHM and how difficult of a transition it really was before becoming a SAHM, I was one of those oblivious idiots that wondered what exactly do SAHM do?  

And now I know all that you do, and how hard that is.  Do I regret or want to change the fact that I stay home with J, absolutely not!  

But it has been a hard transition for E and I to figure out and that is where the difficulty lies, not in being J's mom.  Because I feel like in a sense E has the same mindset at times as I did before I knew all of what it is that we actually do.  But in his defense he has taken on a lot for me to be able to stay home, financially he is it.  If he doesn't work, we don't have food on the table.  

I honestly wish I could somehow contribute it is hard for someone who worked since they were 15 to not have their "own" money.  I don't make money from this blog, hell I barely make any money with my photography.  E keeps telling me to just keep it up as a hobby something I like to do but it is hard to find time on some days.  It is hard to even get inspiration and if I do, it is at 11 o'clock at night when I should be asleep so I can get some rest before J wakes up. 

J is an amazing little guy, if you ask a lot of people who have watched him besides the missing me part he is pretty easy to deal with.  He eats just about anything, and if you make him laugh he will probably chase you around until one of you gets tired.  He is the best first baby a mama could ask for.  

With all of that said, there are days that are much harder than others and I never want anyone to think that being J's mom is hard. It isn't he makes being his mom the greatest thing I have ever done with my life.  There are just harder days, there are moments that are much more difficult than others.  

There are the joyous moments that are instagram worthy and then there are the moments when you wish instagram didn't even exist.