Happy Thursday loves!
I have been wanting to do a monthly mama moments recap, kind of a place where I can document all of my moments with J over the past month. With August coming to an end [I can’t believe I am even typing that] I wanted to start a habit of documenting our month here.
I am hoping to eventually buy a journal and do better at documenting his life. I have been keeping my eye on this journal for a while
I know a lot of what I do on here is style and beauty but J is essentially my life, and everything else just gets fit into it. So instead of constantly posting photos of him everywhere, I thought I could just do a once a month post to keep it all in one place.
I feel like every single time I write these post it is all about how fast time is flying. I remember when it was getting closer to me having to go back to work I literally had a breakdown, if I would’ve known then that it was the “baby blues”. I wouldn’t have felt so bad about being in that emotional space. I was terrified to leave J, I was sad that time was going and I wasn’t doing well emotionally. I think E was a bit freaked out because this wasn’t an emotional space that I ever experienced. One of the many fun things that pregnancy does to you.
I’m very sad that J will be turning two soon [already freaking out about his party] and eventually he will be going to some sort of school and I will be having that “alone” time I wish I had sometimes, and regretting everything I said ever.
I have been trying my best to get J out of the house so that he can experience new things and new people besides me and his cousins.
We have gone to the park and splash pad by our house, but because I am such an introvert I immediately tense up and freak out as soon as people show up.
He is very timid when he first sees people but tends to warm up, and sometimes I feel like I am holding him back more than I should.
J loves being outside so we have also been doing art outside, I recently read Elsie Larson's post here about getting creative with the little one's and it got me inspired.
I am sure going to miss all of these days with just the two of us whenever he does finally go to school but I am glad that I have been documenting them.
Sometimes I feel like I am not doing enough with him to get him to experience all that life has to offer.
Lately, when it is time to do things for J I feel like blogging is getting in the way. Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love blogging, I love playing in my makeup and showing you guys what I come up with.
But a lot of my time is spaced out, I try to get things done when J is napping and I try to do them in the early morning when he is engulfed in his cartoons but that makes me feel really guilty that we aren't doing things that involve learning.
I am working hard behind the scenes to try to get much more organized so that this doesn’t have to get in the way of him growing up. The entire point of staying home was to spend time with him so someone else isn't raising my child but sometimes it feel like someone is.
Last week I read Annie’s blog post and it was so true. You live this life prior to having little ones and you have all these things you think you are going to accomplish and you don't because essentially everything gets put to the side for you little one.
What do you guys do with your littles?