I'm feeling 32

Turning 32

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Wow! y'all today I turn 32!

At some point last year I guess between having a baby and becoming a sahm I lost an entire year of my life. I somehow didn't remember turning 31 and still thought for most of the year I was 30. Time flies, you don't necessarily have to be having fun. 

With that said the past year has taught me a lot!

Lesson learned:

It has taught me that karma is indeed a bitch.

People will lose interest in you

You will lose yourself. 

Life will continue without you. 

Hard times, good times and all the in-between will come at you like a freight train, whether you like it or not.

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People you didn't think were there for you are, people that you did aren't.  

Post-partum depression has nothing to do with how much you love your child.  And you have no control over it. 

Loving your child has nothing to do with how much you love your husband. 

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Taking time for yourself isn't selfish, it's self-care nothing works well without maintenance. 

You will have to learn all over again how to date, even if it is the man you started dating 12 years ago and married 7.  

Resting Bitch Face is common, you aren't alone.

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Motherhood is a job for which you never get paid by monetary value, nor will some ever know your true worth. "Aint no women alive that could take my Mama's place" - Tupac

Regardless of how exceptionally dressed you are, your child will throw a tantrum anywhere, anytime. No fucks given.  

Your child will love you more than any toy, clothes, or cartoon character. Be present

Note to self:

I recently watched a YouTube video by Kalynn Nichols where she said something along the lines of no matter what the year had in store for you goods or bad, it taught you something and therefore be grateful it happened.

Not in those exact shitty words but you get the jist of what I am saying. 

A lot of incredibly shitty things happened to me last year, a lot of incredibly amazing things happened for me last year.

The great thing about living is the ability to have another year to mend relationships, have more babies, love better, dance more, travel often, eat well, and love life. 

So cheers year 32, let's see what you've got for me.   

Pork Chop with Asparagus and Mash potatoes

I made the dinner the other night and it was pretty simple and delicious. I have been messing around lately with some fancier dinner ideas but I kept it pretty simple with this one. 

You can totally use thicker chops if you like, if you do just factor in a longer cook time.  

For this meal, I prepped my asparagus as normal lemon juice salt and pepper and before I plate it I’ll add some grated Parmesan for little extra umph.  

I cut the red potatoes into quarters boiled with some salted water, once they were soft enough for a fork to go through without too much pressure, I added a tablespoon of butter, salt and some Italian season [not too much I’d say about 1 teaspoon because it is strong].  

Before seasoning the pork I put a gracious amount of olive oil then I seasoned the pork with salt & pepper, thyme and garlic powder. When you use a dry ingredient like oregano, Italian seasoning, rosemary, or thyme a good rule of thumb is to put olive oil or a good cooking oil in order to not have the seasoning burn quickly. Keep the heat at medium/high temperature. 

It went over well with the husband so I will probably try it again but we aren’t huge pork eaters besides bacon so it will be a few months. 

Thanks for stopping by love, I’ll have my post about a bold red lip up tomorrow! ♥️ 

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Everything is a choice.

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So much yes in this.

I can't sit here and believe otherwise. you choose your actions, the people you surround yourself with and the love you allow yourself to give.

To say choosing lately hasn't been tough for me would be a lie.

Choosing to remain in a place I am no longer sure is for me because I am constantly questioning something I thought was perfect and whole. It is tough. It is really hard

I don't know if the choices I make today I'll eventually regret in the future and trust me I have dealt with my fair share of regret. I am no perfect person. 

All I can do is hope and pray that the things I choose to do today will be for a better future, or another learning experience but I can't sit here and dwell on something that I can't change.  

And it's hard to be the bigger person and it's hard to not hope that everyone gets what they deserve. But I don't have enough room in my heart for hate, the old me maybe. I just can't keep it up.  

I just want to be happy. Some days are just harder than others. 

 

Am I crazy?

I was just browsing through a mommy online community and these ladies are pregnant already after having babies around the same time as J, like within days of J.

My initial thoughts were "Nah I'm good. Buh-bye. WTF." You know things a sane person would say. I am not sane in any which leads me to my next thought. I immediately thought hell no, but soon after was like well I kinda wouldn't mind being in the same boat as these ladies.

Kids are tough and managing two would be difficult and life changing to say the least but honestly it took so long to have J, I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to have another even if it would be soon after J.

Life changes so much when you go from no kids in your house to a permanent little person crawling around.  It is a different rodeo than when I would watch my nieces and nephews and give them back at some point, when they are yours, they are yours. No take backs. 

We have discussed it and while having a baby amongst us is tough, we aren't doing anything to stop another one from entering the mix.  If I know anything from the journey we went through to have J, I know that God definitely has a plan for us.  J is definitely a part of some well thought out plan that would only come from up above. 

So am I crazy for not minding if I get knocked up so soon after baby #1? 

This adorable-ness is why we definitely want at least one more, if I don't go crazy first. 

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Father's Day Weekend Mashup

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This weekend was E's first time celebrating Father's Day for E, and it was so special to finally be able to celebrate with him.  I

There were times before when we thought that well this will be the time we finally get to celebrate Father's Day/Mother's Day and they would just fade past us but this year was different.  

Last year I was pregnant during Father's Day so it was really nice to have the thought of it in our minds but this year it finally came true.  I don't for one minute take for granted the fact that I can now say that out loud and celebrate.  There are still plenty of families that are currently struggling to be parents and as a once timer, I know the feeling and we are praying for you guys. 

I am just very happy that I was able to make E a daddy and that he and J have a wonderful relationship between the beard pulling and the loud giggles that happens on a daily basis in our household, plus the non-stop working that E does for the both of us and gives me the opportunity to stay home with J.  He is a wonderful daddy and husband.  

J is already saying "da da da" which I am still holding out for the Mama, with recognition but if not I totally get that J misses daddy but he will always be Mama's boy.  

A few weeks ago I was in Carter's with my friend and I noticed this little onesie that says "Happy First Father's Day, I love you!" and it just melted my heart.  The morning of Father's Day J woke up and we hopped out of bed, put on his onesie and waited for E to wake up so we can surprise him.  

It is always going to be the small things that we love doing for one another that makes every day life more special.  But I can't wait until J is older and starts having ideas of his own to do on special occassions but for now I am enjoying his gorgeous smile and his cuddles.

Happy Father's Day to all the fellas out there! 

 

 

Weekend Vibes Only

This weekend was off to a good start my bestie came in Friday evening to spend the long weekend with us and my family.

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But I messed up an event and scheduled it on the wrong day. Imagine packing J, finding a baby sitter, dropping him off, getting to the event location to call the host to then find out that the event is the next day 🙄.

Yup it all happened and as much as I wish it were a dream it gave me the chance to catch up with an old co-worker and do a little shopping for J. Making lemonade out of lemons. 

Oh and did I forget to mention that I totally saw Tina Knowles and her husband in the Galleria area? Yeah she was kind of in a rush had her head down and once we said her name she said a quick "hello" and got the hell outta there. 

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If you are ever looking for a spot to eat in the Galleria area of Houston but not inside of the mall directly I definitely recommend Grand Luxe Cafe, this Chicken and Waffle plate was delicious and the Piña Colada was just what the doctor ordered. 

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While in the Galleria area my friend and I visited the Creamistry and I'm not sure how I'll ever eat regular ice cream again this is seriously the best thing to cure a crappy day. 

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After that mix up the weekend went fairly smoothly, we spent time in the pool at my parents. 

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It was J's first official time in the pool we had dipped his feet in the water some but since his allergies started to act up we tried to keep him away until the water was warmer and this weekend couldn't have been any better.

 I'd say overall while this weekend was exhausting I am so thankful to be able to spend time with the ones I love.

It is because of the men, women and their families who sacrifice their lives for our freedom. My family and I are eternally grateful.

Because I love you so.

Hello There, Loves! 

The month of May is kind of a big deal this year because this year I finally get to celebrate Mother's Day. 

I am beyond grateful to be able to celebrate with all of the wonderful Mother's who have helped me become the Mommy I am today.

This past couple of months I may have beaten myself up if it weren't for their words of encouragement, agreeance on how hard the job really is, and helping hands. 

Ladies, I now wish I had taken all those naps you told me to take. 😴 

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I thank God everyday that we were blessed with our son because without him I wouldn't be a Mother. I wouldn't be able to celebrate the most valuable thing I have ever done in my entire life.

Jaxon Carter, I love you more than anything in this world becoming your mommy has made me the happiest ever. All the years I prayed and waited for you, I wouldn't spend it any other way. You are absolutely the best thing I've ever done with my life. You make me believe in miracles, and your a constant reminder of how I am blessed. My love for you is endless. I love you son, more than you'll ever know.

Happy Mother's Day loves! I'm finally part of the tribe 🎉🥂🎂

I might have formula in my hair.

It's currently 2:47am here in Houston the Husband and the babes are fast asleep. 

I on the other hand, I might have formula in my hair. 

Currently J is still sleeping in our bed, your judgement isn't needed on this matter. J is also waking up for about 2 feedings from the time he goes to bed until 6 am. One feeding is at 2 and the other at 5 and if I want to get a little more rest he will take another 2 oz at 7. He is a eater, there is no denying that. 

Normally we sleep Me, J, pillow, then E. But last night E thought myself and the pillow could switch places to see if maybe I'd get a better nights sleep between J's feeding schedule. I can say my back hurts way less and I'm actually not uber tired at the moment. Check back with me in the am. 

I had a little hesitation because J's formula is always on the nightstand next to the bed and I'd have to actually get up to make his bottles, and ain't no body got time fa dat. Well I should've made time. 

Like I said it is 2:47, after getting up at 2a to make J's bottle I then had to clean formula off of the bed, which I just cleaned earlier today. I had to dust the majority of it off so it wouldn't feel like we're were laying in sand on a beach, where I actually wish I were right now. 

How did formula get all over the bed you ask? Well J isn't one to really wait for his night time bottles or any bottle for that matter, so as I was pouring the formula into his bottle he threw his arm, it connected with the formula container and the rest my friends is history. 

So after spending so many hours yesterday cleaning our bedroom I know have to do it all over again ☹️ in the morning. I honestly could use a donut, a margarita, a thin crust Pepperoni pizza, and a hug not in that specific order. 

Oh and on top of that my dog is outside barking, at nothing.  

The moral of this story my friends is trust your gut and don't do something you know damn well is a fail. 

Irrelevant picture of my dog [yup the one that is barking] sleeping because it is what I wish I was doing right now 😴 but on a beach .

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