Jaxon is 4 months!

You read that right my little papa is 4 months old today.

I can't believe it. When I was pregnant I told myself I would make sure and take pictures of him, document everything and leave nothing behind.

I mean what's the point in having a professional camera if you don't use it for your personal photography too. I don't want to miss J growing up and it seems like that's all that is happening time is flying and I want to make sure I have photos to remember all those moments by.

There have been days when I'm rocking him to sleep and I start to cry because he is growing to fast and my heart can't take it. I feel like it was just yesterday that he couldn't even hold up his own head.


I love all of his facial expressions, his laugh, the fact that his entire body is a tickle spot and that he hair is already past his neck.  

I love when I see myself and when I see E in him, he is the ultimate perfect combination of the both of us. 

I'm so thankful everyday that God gave him to us, and answered our prayers. I remember what life was like without J and it was pretty amazing but life with J is unimaginably beautiful and more than I could ever ask for.


Photographing The Bump

As I sit here looking through the photographs that Taryn Melgoza Photography created for us, I can't believe that it was just a couple of months ago I was still pregnant, and baby Jaxon was still inside of me growing and getting bigger.  It brings back so many memories, times I will cherish and moments I will always have close to my heart.

I can't believe that we have a beautiful baby boy now and we just had his first newborn session with her today.  I can't believe he is already 16 days old and that he is here.  

E has been such a great dad and I know us women have a gear that normally kicks in right away but I believe E's dad mode button was switched into high gear too. 

As I type this E is on the couch soothing him to sleep and I can't believe how surreal it all is.  I can't believe that 3 years ago I was on my way to Mexico to start treatment in hopes that we will finally get the love we have now. I still find myself staring at him in amazement because for years we dreamed for him, loved for him, cried for him, and now he is here.  And he is all ours.

I am in such awe of the images she created and I am so glad that we invested in her to capture these special moments in our lives, I can't wait until I am finally able to get these printed and we can display them all over our house, our walls are currently bare just waiting for some of this love.  

I promise I am going to get caught up on writing one of these days. During my pregnancy and even after I couldn't get my mind to come up with the words to write blog post that I was proud of, so I am attempting to play catch up! 

PS.  Can I just say that I love me, some us!  I love how much we come through in these photographs.  I love how much E and I have fought through, all the tribulations and trials in our life and how much we have grown in the past year.  I love me some us and I always will. 

Photographing The Bump | Hello There, Love. Blog
Photographing The Bump | Hello There, Love. Blog
Photographing The Bump | Hello There, Love. Blog
Photographing The Bump | Hello There, Love. Blog
Photographing The Bump | Hello There, Love. Blog
Photographing The Bump | Hello There, Love. Blog



Dear Jaxon

Dear Jaxon, 

The other day I sat in the clinic waiting on the doctor to find out the date of your arrival. After meeting with her and discussing a few things I walked to the car, called your dad and proceeded to cry. 

I cried not because anything was wrong or I was in pain but I cried because it became so real. I cried because I would no longer have you to myself, I cried because you would grow too fast, I cried because I can't believe I will finally get to touch your toes, kiss your fingers and kiss your cheeks.  

You see son, I've loved you before you were even conceived, before I ever seen you as a tiny embryo on an ultrasound, before you were a plus symbol on a pregnancy stick.  

You are my everything, my entire world. I am still in awe that you are here with me and I can touch you and love on you.  I know the nights will be rough and things will get difficult at times but I know that you are worth every thing we have ever gone through to get you here. 

You are the most beautiful thing that I have ever created, you are able to bring out a side of your dad that I never have seen but I am completely in love with. You make us better, more than we could have ever dreamed to be better for you, we are.  

We thought we were as close to complete as we could be before you but I now know you were the missing piece.  We love you Jaxon, we love you more than you will ever know.  

Dear Jaxon | Hello There Love, Blog.

I adore you.

So lately I have been feeling super guilty because I don't think I took all of the pictures of my growing bump that I should've and with professional cameras and a photographer in the household I don't think I have an excuse.

It was such a struggle for me to get pregnant and I was determined I was going to be that pregnant mom to be who took tons of pictures of my bump week by week.  Which I failed miserably at. 

The problem is we found out we were pregnant, decided we needed a house, moved, bought furniture, and now we have a baby shower and more to get ready for.  

I even wanted to write letters to my baby during my entire pregnancy to tell him how much I loved him, adored him and that he meant the world to me even before I met him.  But I haven't and I feel so guilty for it. 

Either I can't find the words, hold back the tears enough to see the screen, or I can't stay awake.

But I guess I should start somewhere, maybe today but I need to just start it is just so hard to write the things I know I want to tell him without balling my eyes out. 

Also I can't wait to be a boy mom. So I can spoil him to death.