Read this before continuing.
You don't know where someone's been until you walk in their shoes, this is your journey deal with it.
You'll never appreciate anything you never worked hard for.
So hustle hard and give yourself a little credit love, for the journey you made thus far probably wasn't without road blocks, you'll get there.
Life has been super hectic for me lately, I was hoping that when I kicked my full time to the curb I would have more time for the simple things but that is totally not happening.
I have the crazy tedious way about life, I like to do things a certain way and when that way is changed it messes me up. And I feel like I'm in a crash and burn situation.
For me personally not being able to do it all kind of sucks because that's the person I am. If I don't do it myself it won't get done type of attitude, it's a problem of mine like OCD, I guess?
I have totally been envying the success of others, I am happy for them honestly it's crazy some of the success that some people have but I wish I had it too.
I know I can only blame myself, I have changed the name of my blog so many times I can barely keep up. How the hell can anyone else?
I have been pushing myself to the max and honestly I need a fucking break. I need a little tequila [maybe a lot] and a bunch of rest.
It just makes me feel super guilty to drop J anywhere already. I mean we wanted him for so long, prayed for him so hard and I feel obligated to be there for him besides just being his mother. Like I got my miracle but there are so many out there still waiting and praying.
I feel like I should be able to handle it all, I should be all organized and I should have all these pretty post prepared but I don't, I don't have my shit together. And it is annoying the fuck out of me.
I want to be organized, I want to get shit done.
A friend recently told me to stop saying and start doing, and my doing is not happening and it hasn't for quite sometime.
I don't want to be perfect, I just need something to get done. I need weekly post to be prepared to where I have time to read over them, instead of throwing something on this blog crossing my fingers and hoping people read it.
I need dinner to get cooked so we aren't eating crap every day, I need to fit in some type of working out in preferably at home because I hate being away from a J and gyms for that matter.
We moved into our house last year and I have yet to use our bath tub, it sucks. I finally have a tub of my own and I still haven't used it and we'll be here a year at the end of August.
I want to have one of those moments with the pretty rose petals, candles and maybe the possibility of dozing off. But I guess instead of perfect I just need done.
It seems like when you get older these things have to be scheduled into life, regardless of if you are a SAHM, Entrepreneur, or all of the above and in between.
I'm not complaining but I need something to keep myself accountable, I need to get shit done and I need to do it now.
But always remember this we as humans have a tendency to compare ourselves to others without knowing their journey and feeling like we deserve something without the hustle.
Don't compare yourself to others it is a shit storm you can avoid.