Mama Moments : August 2018

Mama Moments : August 2018

I feel like every single time I write these post it is all about how fast time is flying.  I feel like it was yesterday when it was getting closer to me having to go back to work I literally had a breakdown, if I would’ve known then that it was the “baby blues”.  I wouldn’t have felt so bad about being in that emotional space .

Read More

Toast & Twirl Workshop

Toast & Twirl Workshop

This past weekend I was able to attend the Toast and Twirl Workshop with ToastfromtheHost [Lauren Banzu] it was held at the Aris at Market Square and if you are looking for downtown living I can totally recommend visiting this place to keep in the running.  

It was so much fun, we did a bunch of DIY's which oddly enough I like to do.  I saw some of my other blogger friends and I had just a good time being out with adults. 

Read More

Mama Moments: Summer of 2018

And there it was the moment when he laid there watching me intently as I removed all of the gunk from the barrel of the vacuum cleaner brush, wide eyed and bushy tailed as though it was the newest, coolest cartoon on the block.  It was in that moment that I realized this kid, this little miracle of ours was going to be something big.  

There are many things that J has of mine, my temper, my impatience, my knack for the dramatics, but what he has of his daddy's is the willingness to learn, the patience to figure it out, and the ability to shoot you a smile and flirtatious look that will have you weak in the knees. 

Read More

Self Care with Day Trips in Galveston, Texas

You never realize how much being close to the ocean can make you feel relaxed regardless of if you never actually get in the water.  

I normally take day trips to Galveston to meet a couple of girlfriends up for business talks and food.  It is nice to be close to the water, enjoy some alone time and get a bit inspired at times.

Read More

I just needed some time.

I just needed some time.

After everything that was going on in my personal life, I definitely needed a break from everything. I wish I could’ve fit in a vacation from life but with a family that is not something that you can do.

Instead, I took a step back from my blog and a little bit of social media and it helped tremendously. I also took a refreshing instagram class from my dear friend Stacy Anderson that helped me feel much better about the path about this blog.

Read More

Dealing with Loss

Dealing with Loss

On June 10th, we lost my grandmother and while she lived a long life passing at the ripe age of 81, no loss is ever easy.  The last couple months for her were filled with pain and surgeries, until she was brought home where she could get some comfort from pain medication, and family & friends. 

I am not the greatest at loss, I am awkward to say the least with affection as it is growing up in a family who rarely says I love you, or hugs one another.  

Read More

Mama Moments

Mama Moments

These past couple of weeks I have had less time to play with make up or get dressed up and take pictures of myself, so this weeks blog post have been more of the emotional side of things. 

I am still trying to figure out what works for me with this blog and what doesn't.  If you have opinions on the matter I am open to hear about them. 

If you read my post earlier this week you are well aware that Mother's Day didn't go as smoothly as one would hope.  You can read more of it here.

Read More

Weekend Recap: Mother's Day Fail.

Mother's Day was great!
My attitude on the other hand not so much.

If you saw my instagram post on this topic then you know exactly what I am talking about. 

So my Mother's Day fail started on Saturday evening and apparently I was on a roll and wanted it to last the entire weekend, E came home with my gift and I was like nope, I don't want that.  Then to top it off I decided to have an attitude that E decided to leave the house to do a little work for his regular job on Sunday morning.  Now this I am still a little upset about and feel as though my feelings are in the right to an extent, but I am going to put my pride and attitude aside and be thankful and grateful that our finances and lives are being handled. 

Read More

You are deserving.

IMAGE.JPG

Happy Mama's Day to all of the beautiful mother's out there, whether it be by adoption, surrogacy, sperm donor, or the good ole fashion way. 

You are amazing in who you are and what you do.  

There is nothing and no one that can ever take the place of a mother. 

There are many times that E has come home and tried to provide relief but J will always want me, there are moments that he isn't feeling great, or when he knows I will protect him {which is always}.

While in that exact moment it can feel defeating especially after very long days, I am so happy to experience these times with J.  The good, the bad, and the ugly which are few and less frequent than I probably make it seem. 

I am grateful and thankful that God chose me to be J's mom and while it can be difficult to navigate at times and it has been harder than I thought. It is by far the greatest thing I have ever done with my life.

Becoming a mother has given me all I have ever needed and or wanted in life. 

I am so thankful to all of the moms in my life, who have groomed me and helped me become a great mother. Without all of the great examples, advice and help I am not sure where I would be.  

I am thankful to be a mother, to be able to hold my son daily, to be able to feel his heart beating, to steal his kisses and to be called Mama all day long. 

You won't ever be thanked enough, or appreciated enough at times but you are!

The Cool Mom

IMG_6929.JPG

🤣 Writing that makes me a loser!

 

But I hope I get to be the cool mom but also the mom who is well respected too! 🤦🏽‍♀️

I know it's Saturday morning and not my regularly scheduled post but I just wanted to make sure I was able to get two post up this week for y'all! 

This week had it's ups and downs, whew and I am glad it's almost to an end.

I went and updated my hair and got these really gorgeous pink locks now with my boo Orlando at The Orlando Salon and I am in love 😍. 

But, on my way home from my hair appointment I got rear ended and now I have to be without my car and in a rental.  I am not sure about you guys but I am one of those people that like to have things a certain way.

I love to put things back in their place and I want things to be organized the way I like it.  So when I have to be without the things I use on a daily basis, it kind of throws a wrench in my life.  I know it is just a car but it is my space where I like all of the features and all of the space, and the luxuries. 

My bestie also came to town and instead of getting a blog post up and running I decided I wanted to spend time with her. It sucks not having her close by all the time. 

We have some down time since the kids are currently taking naps and I am wondering why I am not finding myself in a bath?  Hmm, let's relocate. 

Okay I don't have a bath tub shelf thingy yet but it is definitely on my get for the house list, I am out now and use that great bath bomb I received from The Hurried Hostess while in Kerrville, you can find the info here

IMG_6933.JPG

Mama Moments

A couple of weeks ago I stumbled upon a blog while I was looking for #mommybloggers like myself and found the Honest Mama Blog, written by Hannah and it was one of those findings that was the right time, right place type of thing.

IMAGE.JPG

After reading most of the things she wrote, I  thought well maybe I should start a series here on my blog doing something similar.  Now I am no where near as great of a writer as Hannah and I entirely encourage you to read a lot of what she wrote because not only is it good writing but a lot of what she has to say isn't out there in the world. And us not-so-perfect Mama's need to hear it. 

The world has sugar-coated everything out there regarding Motherhood and made a lot of us feel like shitty mom's because our experience isn't what everyone says it would be/should be. 

Mothering at it's finest is hard. If you find a mom on social or in real life that is acting like her shit is together, she is doing just that acting. 

Now don't get me wrong motherhood has it's perks.  The moment when Jax says "mama", I am all weak in the knees in love, or when he cuddles me in the morning.  When he grabs my hand to walk down the stairs, or when he finds me in the middle of the night so he can lay next to me.  It is the absolute best feeling in the world and I am so grateful to be his mama. Absolutely grateful!

All of those plus much much more is the great part about being a mommy/parent.  But then you also have other moments that no one tells you about or they forget completely.  

And they leave you feeling like you should be walking around with a shirt that says world worst mom, ever! 

Because there are those moments where you are like "I am getting one thing from the store and then we will head back home", so you don't pack all of the things for the baby on your way out, like a change of clothes and he ends up somehow peeing through his diaper and all over his clothing. 

So instead of  the one thing, it turns into a bunch of things and you can never cleverly explain to your husband why you can never walk out of Target under $100 🤦🏽‍♀️

Moral of the story motherhood can be very hard at times and you need all the help and support you can get, my advice to you is take it. If they are offering more than likely they want to watch you little one, or they know what exhaustion looks like, feels like and honestly just want to help. 

Another note, the judgement from others has been there all your life and it just intensifies when you become a mommy, my recommendation is to develop thicker skin, or don't give a shit mentality, and you keep your head held high.

I just wanted to leave.

Many years back when we were trying to have a little one of our own I was taking mediciations, and while on the medicine I would get these very irrational hormonal spurts of emotion. 

They would make me cry and feel completely and utterly lost in my own emotions, it was just something where I felt like internally I couldn't figure out what I was doing with my life in that moment. It felt like a freight train was coming straight at me and I didn't know how to get off the track or if I even wanted to. 

I would get upset with E and I would just cry. Which if you know me personally I do get mad at E [lol] but crying isn't something that I do too often just out of the blue for no reason.

Once I was done with them my levels returned to normal and I felt great again. It was the oddest thing to me and E would seriously look at me like, what is wrong with you?  

Then recently after having J, I asked a friend about these "oils" she was always talking about. She had talked about them constantly on her social media and honestly I kind of thought of her as one of those crazy cat lady types, but she doesn't own cats.  

So in hopes of not coming off like one of those crazy cat lady kind of people I have kind of held back on talking about oils.

Sometimes, I feel like when people start talking about something on social it can seem like it's all about a sale.

And that's not it. 

It's about educating people on what you can use to help your body, mind, and maybe your soul too.

I recently tried this new oil in hope to potentially get my body ready for maybe baby #2 if that was something in our future. It took so long and so many years with J that while I am in no rush it would be great to be in a good place health wise for an "if it were to happen" kind of moment. 

For a while now my mental state hasn't been that great, it felt that their was potential for me to say that I was possibly bi-polar and maybe I should definitely try to find a therapist.

I am not a take medication type of person unless it is for extreme pain like my c-section so even when I had headache I would prefer to nap instead of pop a few Tylenol or Advil.  

I never thought for a moment that my mental state could be due to having J or a hormone imbalances I just thought life was throwing some hard stones and I would eventually bounce back.  

But once I saw the difference in my mentality after using a couple of drops of Progessence Plus I felt like a huge weight lifted off of me.

I wish I had started using it sooner. I immediately messaged my upline aka the girl who told me to try oils, and asked her is it possible? 

Is it possible for my cycle to start, is it possible for me to not feel or look bloated, is it possible for me to immediately feel like a better person? A better mom? 

And her response was it is totally possible. 😮 

Everyday with J was a struggle E would call and immediately I would be frustrated. I envied him, his alone time working two jobs, being able to sit alone in a car with no one to worry about, being able to use the bathroom without someone standing their like "mom?".

We fought a lot because I never felt like "l" mattered anymore. I never felt like I was me, anymore

J would do normal baby things, fuss, cry, throw a tantrum and I would just want to cry and sometimes I did. Not because he was doing things every mom wishes their child wouldn't do but because I couldn't handle it.  I would feel enraged inside and I would just want to close my eyes and scream. I tried my best to fight back all of it. But sometimes I would yell and be like "what?!?" and after I would immediately feel horrible. I felt like Dr. Jykell and Mr. Hyde 

After all these years of trying I felt like maybe it was just because I want supposed to have kids, I felt like a bad mom.  

Hormonally I was out of whack and I tried to hide it as best as possible but my marriage was suffering and I could totally see my self losing interest in a lot of things. 

If you have #PCOS you may know what I am talking about, if not think of it as a crazy psychotic bout of PMS. I literally had times where I wanted to just drop everything and leave.

I'd imagine myself on a solo road trip to absolutely no where. I remember messaging my best friend and being like I just want to get in a car and drive and never come back. 

It was hard, because I love J and I love E but it was really making me doubt myself as a women. As a married women who loves her child and her husband. 

So to feel the way I feel now and not share it with others who may be feeling the same exact way would be wrong on so many levels. I know I may not reach a ton of people with my writing but I do know there are a few of you out there that do read this and it may help you somehow.

And regardless of if you go get oils, or medication just make sure you are doing something about it for you.

Because you don't deserve to feel this way, no one does. 

It's hard for strong women to admit that they aren't strong, to cry, to feel hopeless and outside of control of their emotions. I feel like I am a pretty strong women. I have made mistakes in my life, I have had bad things happen to me, and I have found myself on the other side of them all happier and healthier. 

And I feel like maybe this is just another stepping stone in my life in order to share this with the people I know, the friends and family I love.  

I am not asking you to buy into any scheme or fill my pockets with money. I am asking you to take care of yourself.  

Oils are just the way that I do that. 

With love, 

V

FullSizeRender.jpg

How to apply

1-2 drops on forearm twice a day, neat.  

It has helped me with:

Depression

Back pain

Cramping

Focus